Once upon a time (March 8, 2008, to be exact), four misfit hashers and one poor virgin set out on a grand mission: to wreak havoc across Washington State. They started by running with Puget Sound, Seattle H3, and Tacoma H3—but let’s be honest, none of it felt right. The trails weren’t chaotic enough. The beer wasn’t cold enough. The shenanigans? Subpar. These four dreamers wanted more.

So what did they do? They hit the road like true wankers, scouring every corner of the Evergreen State. At their 69th (😏) bar stop, while chugging frosty mugs adorned with Olympia’s glorious logo, they had an epiphany: “Why not cause trouble right here in the capital?” 🍻 Eureka! And with that, they decided to settle in the South Puget Sound area, recruit their friends, and kick off a kennel that would go down in hashing history.

### Recruitment: Because Wankers Don’t Hash Alone

When these four got to work, they didn’t hold back. Flyers? Check. Bathroom stall graffiti? Oh, yes. Dirty emails? You bet. Naughty candy handed out to unsuspecting adults? Naturally. By the time March 8, 2008, rolled around, a ragtag group of old hashers, new hashers, and wide-eyed virgins gathered in a sketchy parking lot at the corner of State Street and Adams in downtown Olympia. Perfectly classy, just like the founders. 😜

### The OG Wankers

Who are the geniuses behind this madness? Let me introduce them:

- Moped: The mastermind and father of SSH3, whose hashing adventure began in 2005 with Osan Bulgogi H3 (Osan, Korea). 🛵

- Fear Factor: Moped’s better half, who started hashing in 2006 with the same Korean crew. 💪

- Dirty M.F.: Our charming troublemaker, who began hashing in 2005 with Least Worst H3 in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. 😈

- Pole Pound Her: A hashing legend from… well, we’re not entirely sure when or where, but you know it was good. 🏗️

- Just Kim: The virgin who didn’t know what she was in for. (Spoiler: her mother hash would soon become SSH3.)

But wait—there’s more! These four had help from some extra-special wankers:

- Just Kerry: Pole Pound Her’s partner-in-crime (later known as Head Mistress). 💋

- Yu-Bang: Because every kennel needs a punny name. 💥

- Nine Inch Nailer: The legend who proved size doesn’t matter, but punctuality does (kinda). 🔨

### The First Event: Chaos Ensues

On that fateful day, SSH3 hosted its inaugural hash, attracting 28 wankers—thanks in part to support from Seattle H3 and Tacoma H3 (cheers, guys!). Highlights of the day included:

- Naming Time: Just Kim became “Fist Deep” (guess why), and Just Kerry was crowned “Head Mistress.” 👊👩‍🏫

- Achievements: Dirty M.F. sprinted to glory as the First Runner Back (FRB), while Nine Inch Nailer held things down as the Dead F***ing Last (DFL). 🏃‍♂️🐢

- On-After: The debauchery continued at Charlie’s Bar and Grill, where beer and bad decisions flowed like a mighty river. 🍺🎉

### The Legacy of SSH3

Since that glorious day, SSH3 has been blazing trails (and liver cells) all over Washington’s capital. Whether you’re a crusty old hasher or a doe-eyed virgin, this kennel is your new home for adventure, torment, and an unreasonable amount of beer.

So, grab your running shoes, your wildest outfit, and a mug, and join SSH3. After all, the best kind of chaos is our kind of chaos. 😏🍻🏃‍♀️

The South Sound H3 (SSH3) History 🍺🏃‍♂️🏃‍♀️

Adventures with SSH3:

A Day in the Life of a Hasher

Have you ever thought, “I want to get in shape, but also drink beer, meet awesome people, and occasionally run through mud while questioning my life choices?” No? Well, neither did most of us—until we found the South Sound Hash House Harriers (SSH3).

Here’s how a typical SSH3 event unfolds:

### Step 1: Gather the Herd 🐑🍻

We start by gathering in a parking lot, field, or some other location that screams, “We’re not up to anything suspicious, officer.” Everyone sizes each other up—some in running gear, others in outfits that belong on a reality show about questionable fashion choices. (Seriously, who decided fishnets and tutus were trail-worthy? Oh yeah, we did.)

### Step 2: The Hare’s Dirty Deeds 🐇➡️🕵️‍♂️

The “hare” takes off to lay the trail. Think of them as the evil mastermind of your evening, marking paths that lead to glory or straight into a ditch. Expect to find chalk marks, flour blobs, and the occasional beer check—because nothing fuels a questionable decision like mid-run beer.

### Step 3: Chasing Trails and Losing Dignity 😂🌲

We take off like enthusiastic squirrels, following clues, debating whether “On-On” means we’re on the right track or headed to our doom. False trails and dead ends are part of the charm. Bonus points if you end up explaining to a confused hiker why you’re yelling nonsense and carrying a drink.

### Step 4: Beer and Bonding 🍺👫

At the end of the run, we regroup for “circle”—a mix of cheers, jeers, and songs that should never be sung in public. Newbies are christened with embarrassing nicknames, and the hare gets roasted for every mud pit and bramble patch we encountered. It’s glorious chaos.

### Step 5: Post-Hash Revelry 🎉🥂

We wrap it all up with food, drinks, and stories you’ll probably retell for years. Somewhere between laughter and a second beer, you realize: This is the most fun I’ve ever had pretending to exercise.

So, what are you waiting for? Grab your sneakers, your sense of humor, and maybe a spare liver. The South Sound Hash House Harriers are waiting for you—tutus optional, good vibes guaranteed.

On-On!